I think that maybe many people may feel – on first impressions, having read my Facebook feed only – that I’m a cold and heartless bag of trouble. – An ice queen who is full of negativity and resentment, without emotions.
* The truth is that I’m overflowing with positivity and contentment. *
The truth is that I’m overflowing with positivity and contentment. – But I’ve learned not to let my emotions run away with me and to display as little emotion as possible except under special circumstances. – In fact I keep a tight rein on my emotions most of the time. The reason that a lot of people perceive negativity is because they see no emotion present and they read-in negativity by default.
As a whole I don’t really do love, emotions, empathy. (You’ll notice that my music – to a large extent – has really toned-down emotional content as far as the lyrics are concerned.)
I don’t really do love, emotions, empathy
I feel emotions; but I control them. I never let my heart rule my head. Imagine (Trekkie-alert) – for the sake of illustration – that I was a Vulcan/Human cross. I’ve trained myself, like as with the Vulcans, to quell my emotions – for much the same reasons as the Vulcans do, as well as for the purpose of personal emotional protection. My head is always in control; though my heart is often working and frequently broken by the input that it receives.
One thing, and this is possibly more of an emotional disability than self-mind-control: I’m bad on feeling empathy because I feel it initially with my head. If I feel that the subject of potential empathy is undeserving of said empathy then my mind rejects that feeling and prevents my heart from engaging in it. This can be very useful; particularly if somebody is playing emotional mind games with me; as has happened a number of times before.
there is a real Human being lurking deep beneath
…So there is a real Human being lurking deep beneath this rock-solid façade shield; but the thick skin I’ve grown and whatever emotional deficiency I have… well at times you may well feel like you’re talking to a computer… Maybe that’s one of the reasons that I’m a computer-geek?
Ten years ago I wasn’t like that. I was a computer-geek even then; but I was a lot more emotionally open. The last ten to twenty years have been very hard and trying. I overcame it all by becoming as I am. – It was necessary to do so to retain sanity and prevent a nervous breakdown.
Don’t feel sorry for me; there’s no reason to do so. – I’ve come through it and out the other side largely unscathed, almost sane, and encased in something almost impermeable. It didn’t kill me; it made me stronger. If anything feel happy for me that all the trials and tribulations have enhanced my character and given me even more steely determination.
I am genuinely an atheist; because I sincerely do believe that there probably is no god
Yes I am genuinely an atheist; because I sincerely do believe that there probably is no god. I may be wrong but the evidence suggests otherwise. Until someone – probably a Human; because it seems that this god itself is unable or unwilling to do so – can prove to me the unquestionable evidence for the existence of a god, I refuse to defy logic and reason, and to indulge in the baseless superstition of religion.
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